Wrong?

Well since I have been off from work I have been mostly alone. I've been around others but basically alone. I have learned/ learning things about myself. I still don't like to talk much. In learning why my former mate broke up with me. He wanted me to date other people to see if he is who I want or not want to be with. That was smart on his part but dangerous. Why have me date other people when we want to be together. I can create a list of things that may or not be important but I do know I want someone with a faith base, dependable, trustworthy, good listener, a problem solver, a dude that's all in it with me( not one that says your problems are your problems) I want to feel safe with him, someone who I want to call first when I have a bad day or freaking out about something etc ( like a BBF). This list is ever changing and evolving. I'm sure will change. Financial security is nice but I would not be classified as a gold digger but finances are a reality not and for your future and your future family's future as well.
I thought the break from each other was great until I found someone who had potential. I realized I really missed the former. What kinda disqualifies the other I that he has made a large family. Im not ready to be a part of this ready made large family and it's dynamics even though I like the guy. Still looking. Thought about the online sites.... That's scary....
I've been reading for fun as well. Missed this as well. This has been nice and relaxing. I have read the EL James books Fifty Shades. I love them!